The Pinewood Derby

When I was in first grade, I joined the Cub Scouts, troop 524. Every February, the scout troop had a "Pinewood derby". Basically, every kid is given a block of wood and some plastic wheels. The challenge is to carve your wood into a car, put the wheels on it, and race the other scouts. There is a huge wooden race track that can hold eight cars at once. All the cars race down the track for about 4 seconds. First one down the track wins the race.

It was my first pinewood derby, and I was very excited. I had great plans for my car. I wanted it to look like a shark on wheels. My dad helped my use a saw to cut it, and told me how to sand it to make it more aero-dynamic. We even put eyes and teeth on it to make it look a shark! My shark car was white, with blue eyes and black fins. It was pretty sweet, possibly the sweetest car in the history of the pinewood derby, which dates back to 1934 or something like that. My mom told me not to get my hopes up, but how could I possibly lose?

The day of the derby finally arrived. I wore my blue scout uniform, yellow scarf, and blue jeans. As my dad and I walked into the town hall where the derby was held, I noticed a sparkly golden trophy that had a race car on it. Boy, did I ever want that trophy. I was already thinking of where it would go in my bedroom(most likely the closet with all my other junk). I clutched my car tight to my chest as my dad entered my name in the list of racers. There were over a hundred kids and parents there. But no matter the odds, my car was ready to destroy all the other cars.

And destroy it did! In the first heat, I went up against kids my own age. The Shark beat all the other cars downhill, and was so fast that I had time to watch the other kids cry as their cars barely trudged down the track.

After 3 more races, I had beaten every kid between ages 6-8. Then I got to take a break and watch the older kids race their cars. There was a 9-11 age bracket, and a 12 year old group of kids who were starting to grow facial hair. I sat back, unconcerned with their slow cars, and drank a large soda my dad bought me.

Finally, the older kids were done racing, and there were only three cars left. Mine, and the winners of the other two age brackets. It was the championship round, and the sparkly golden car trophy was almost mine. Unfortunately, I had drank WAY too much soda earlier, and my 6 year old bladder needed to make room. Quickly, I ran downstairs to the bathroom. As I was relieving myself in the urinal, my yellow scarf came undone and started to fall. Without thinking, I grabbed it with both hands, leaving something else unattended. In a matter of seconds, it was over. I had peed all over my pants.

What was I to do? The championship race was about to start! I had to go back upstairs. Since my pants were dark blue anyways, I hoped that no one would notice they were even darker in the crotch region. I slowly walked back into the main race room, hoping no one would notice me as I slinked in.

To my dismay, EVERYONE NOTICED ME!!! They were all waiting for me to come back. While I was peeing all over myself, my shark car had gone on to beat the other cars. I was the 1984 Pine Wood Derby Champion! Everyone ran up to me, talking excitedly. "How'd you do it," they asked. "What makes the shark car so fast?"

The whole time they were talking to me, I figured they'd notice my huge wet stain. To make matters worse, a reporter from the town newspaper came over to interview me, and even took my picture to put in the paper!

Still, no one noticed my accident. But I was livid. This was the greatest moment of my life (so far), and I couldn't even celebrate. I was too embarrassed. If someone noticed my pants, the newspaper article wouldn't read "Little kid destroys all other scouts in local race". It would say "look at the baby who still wets himself!"

I grabbed my dad, and the sparkly golden trophy, and got of there as quick as I could. Once I was home, I proudly threw the trophy in my closet with the other junk and changed clothes.