Bad Cookies


Christmas time was awesome! My entire family came together to hang out and be good to one another. Well...maybe not the "good" part.

Jared and I decided to play a little prank on our brother Chad. In the kitchen were a bunch of Christmas cookies, just waiting to be frosted with tasty icing. But I decided to frost a couple cookies with French onion dip, the kind you eat potato chips with. Then I added some sprinkles, put them on a plate, and brought them into the living room for my unsuspecting brother to eat.

I hid on the stairs and tried not to laugh as I waited for Chad to get hungry. Finally, Chad picked up one of the onion dip cookies and put the entire thing in his mouth. It was Awesome! All of a sudden, Chad realized his cookie tasted totally wrong. He sprang up from the couch, ran to the bathroom, and spit chunks of cookie all over the sink.

Why did I do this? It's just my way of letting my brother know I love him. Next time, he'll probably let ME know by super glue-ing my pillow to my face while I'm sleeping.

My prediction? Pain...


Last week, I got a big cut on my hand that required two Disney band-aids. How did I cut myself? Turning off the lights. Yes, I managed to hurt myself on a light switch. While I was trying to stop the bleeding, I started thinking about other ways in which I injured myself over the years. Ways that most people would consider...unnatural.

- When I was in second grade I saw my teacher accidentally staple her finger. I wondered if it hurt. So I put my finger under the stapler and slammed down hard on it. Too hard. It was difficult pulling the staple out of my pointer finger. Final analysis: Pain

- As a stupid 6 year old wandering around in the woods, I wondered if it would hurt to head-butt a rock. Since it was a big rock, I figured only a little head-butt would be needed. Well, I rocked my brain up against the inside of my skull pretty good. The rock felt no pain. I was not so lucky.

- Tried to run around a bookcase, but accidentally went through it. Head injury.

- Fed a pig a carrot. Forgot to put carrot in my hand. Pig thought my fingers were carrots. They crunched just like carrots in his mouth.

- My uncle had an electric fence. I thought if I put a balloon on my finger, I would be shock proof. After 7 attempts, I decided instead of trying to be shock proof, I would absorb all the electricity in the fence to get super electric powers!!! After 15 more attempts, my right arm went numb and hung useless at my side for the rest of the day.

Time to go change my bandages...