Why Candy Canes?


Who invented the Candy Cane? And why did they choose to make it in the shape of a cane? It makes eating it so difficult. All other candy comes in a small, bite size, easy to fit in your mouth style. The lone exceptions are suckers and candy canes. Suckers at least provide a stick to hang on to, and it doesn't look too silly having a sucker sticking out of your mouth. But a candy cane? Ridiculous. Just an awkward shape with no good place to grip it, unless you leave it partially in the wrapper (lame).

What part of the candy cane do you eat first? Do you break off the curvy part, and wedge it in your face like a minty mouth guard? Or do you break off the long stick part and let it slowly decompose in your mouth? Candy Canes don't even allow for conversation. With other candy, you can move it around in your mouth and still talk. Try talking with a cane in your mouth. You'll only be able to gurgle a little.

Why was the candy named after an elderly assistance device? A cane? Marketing blunder right there. If we're gonna name candy after something an old person uses, why not just shape the candy into a circle and name it the Candy Bed-pan. We could've named it after something cool, like the Candy Hook, Candy Half-Noose, or Candy Antenna.

They are tasty though...

I love you candy cane.